FLYing by the seat of my pants

Getting back into the swing of things

2009-01-16T03:46:00.000-08:00

Wow, I've been away from here for far too long!

Okay, quick update:

Not a whole lot going on here. We went to the States over Christmas to see my folks. It was great and wonderful and now I'm horribly home sick! That will wear off over the next couple of months.

We got home on Dec. 31st and I haven't done a whole lot since! I got so out of my routines while we were gone that it's been a real struggle to get anything done. Even work has been suffering, though I'm getting that back on track.

As for the house, it fell into total CHAOS. From the time we got home until earlier this week I did so little, this place was a dump. Finally on Monday morning I kicked myself in the butt and forced myself to just do SOMETHING, I didn't care what just do something. I did the laundry and got it all done. Woohoo for me :)

Each day this week I've done the same thing. . . forced myself to do something. Today I did the WHBH for the first time in ages. The house actually looks pretty darn good now.

This afternoon I'll be re-jiggling my CJ and loading it into my iPod. I figure I have it with me all the time, so it makes sense to have all my lists there. My CJ in a binder just gets stuck somewhere and I never look at it, my iPod on the other hand is in my hands a million times a day. I think using it to store my CJ will work well . . . fingers crossed!

A whole long weekend to myself!

2008-10-30T04:11:00.000-07:00

I've just sent Simon and Sophie off to Yorkshire to spend a long weekend with Simon's parents. They'll be back on Sunday evening. I now have the better part of 4 days all to myself!

After thinking about it and debating several options (most involving spending four days in bed), I think I've decided what I'm going to do with my time.

I've already been to the store and got dinners for myself and all the little bits I'm going to need. Before they left Simon gave me money to get through the weekend. After getting dinners I still have £40 left (I got some really good deals on yummy meals), so I think this afternoon I'm going to take myself out for a little while and maybe get myself a treat. I'm thinking a new book or two. The more grown up part of me says "just because you have money doesn't mean you have to spend it" while my inner brat says "yeah but I'm alone for the next few days, I deserve a little treat". The brat is winning out at the moment!

Tomorrow I'm going to have a good cleaning day. There's no-one here to get in my way so I can get a fair bit of decluttering done. Then since no-one will be here, it shouldn't get messy again :)

Saturday will be my running around and doing stuff I need to do day.

Sunday I have church in the morning, then I think I'll relax for the rest of the day until they get home.

It's nothing terribly exciting, but it's not often I get this much time to myself. The last time was about two years ago when they went to Yorkshire for a week. I didn't get anything done then as I was staying up all night watching the Tigers lose the world series. I'll be more productive this time :)

I do miss them though. They haven't been gone long, but the house is so quiet.

They'll have a great time, and so will I!

I'm a freak :) So says a friend

2008-10-29T09:04:00.000-07:00

I was talking with a friend of mine today and the subject turned to reading. She very proudly told me that she's never read a book from start to finish. Okay, fair enough, she isn't a reader. But then she told me with a fair bit of disgust that her oldest daughter "always has her nose in a damn book". That hurt my heart a little. My daughter loves to read and I encourage that to no end.

Anyway, her daughter joined us a little later, and she did in fact have her nose in a book. Not wanting to leave her out of the conversation I asked what she was reading, was she enjoying it, what else does she like to read, questions like that. The look on her face when I showed an interest was priceless. She's a fairly shy girl, but she became so excited talking about books. When it was time for me to leave I promised her I would bring some books over for her to read this afternoon.

I headed back there with my daughter and delivered the books I had promised. It was like all of her Christmases had come at once! Again we got talking and she asked if I liked to read. I told her I do and I usually get through one book each day. Then her mom butted in and said "God you're a freak, who would actually want to read that much?!". I said Thank You, gave her daughter a little wink and we left again.

It makes me sad that my friend can't encourage her very clever child, but at the same time it makes me very happy that I could help the girl by being someone she can talk to about her love of reading and by giving her some good books to get her teeth into.

I'm a freak, and proud of it :)

FLYing, falling and fluttering agian

2008-10-27T07:54:00.000-07:00

Over the last few weeks I've had a hard time keeping myself FLYing. It's not the housework that's causing a problem, my house is actually in fairly good shape, it's outside influences that I've been stumbling over.

I had an issue with the guy next door just over a week ago that left me shaking and scared to go outside. I'm slowly getting better, but it's going to take some time. At this time I can't walk our my front door without feeling the panic rise. It will pass, but it's hard to deal with sometimes.

Another big stumbling block as been my source of encouragement, the FLY forums. In the run up to next weeks elections I've seen a few things that have made me doubt my fellow FLYers. Some people who I thought were the nicest, friendliest, most helpful people have shown another side. They seem to take such joy in attacking those with opposing political views with such venom. It hurts my heart to see it. I've decided to avoid the forum a little, or at least avoid the section these attacks are taking place in. Though it's hard to seek encouragement and help, and try to offer the same, in a place that seems so full of hate right now.

It looks like "Love thy neighbour" no longer applies to either situation.

Maybe taking myself away from all the drama and hate will allow me to start to flutter again. I want to love myself as much as I love everyone else.

At least we got to spend most of the day together

2008-10-07T08:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our 7th wedding anniversary, it was also Simon's appointment with the eye specialist.

We dropped Sophie off at school (she was very excited that Daddy was dropping her off) then got the bus out to the hospital. We got there about an hour early, we didn't know how long the bus would take or even if we were getting the right one so it was better to be safe than sorry. Since we had a while before his appointment he treated me to a coffee, that would be my anniversary present!

When it was time we found where we needed to be to see the doctor. Then we waited and waited and waited. His appointment was for 10.15, he saw the nurse at 11.15 and didn't get in to actually seen the specialist until gone 12. Of course his time with the specialist lasted all of about 20 minutes. They did what they needed to do, sort of answered our questions, then sent us on our way.

We then hunted down the bus stop and . . . . waited and waited and waited! :)

We've never gotten the bus to or from the hospital before, so again we didn't know how long it would take to get back into town. Once the bus came and we hopped on we thought it would only be a few minutes. Wrong! This bus goes all over half of England, I swear. At one point it was near out street so I told Simon we should get off and walk the rest of the way. He didn't want to as the bus would eventually stop in town (near his office). 30 minutes later we did finally make it into town.

We got off and said our good-byes. He went off to work for the afternoon and I went to the grocery store to pick up stuff for dinner (his anniversary present) then headed home. By the time I got back here I had 10 minutes to put the shopping away and try to grab something to eat before I had to go get Sophie from school.

After being so sick over the weekend I wasn't (and I'm still not) feeling 100% and the day really took it out of me.

It was a long day with lots of waiting and a fair bit of stress, but we got to spend our anniversary together so that makes it okay :)

God bless the health service!

2008-10-04T03:54:00.000-07:00

Well, Simon and Sophie are alright, but I had to have the emergency doctor out this morning.

On Wednesday I was woken at about 4 in the morning with intense stomach pains. It lasted for most of the day then suddenly went away in the afternoon. Again this morning it woke me up shortly before 4. I couldn't move, breath, talk, heck I could hardly think. After several hours of walking and crawling around the house (it was too painful to stand at some times) I woke Simon up and asked him to call the emergency doctor.

Now what you do is call them, tell them what's wrong then someone will call you back with advice. The whole thing can take hours. Usually they call you back with something you can do for yourself or they ask you to come into the hospital.

Simon called them and talked to someone who said a doctor would ring back. Five minutes later they did. Simon talked to the doctor because I couldn't (I was in tears at that point), and the doctor said they would send someone out. I didn't expect that! They hardly ever make house calls and when they do it's generally for the very old or the very young.

The doctor was here within 30 minutes.

From the time we first called to when the doctor was here looking at me was less than an hour. Considering we were warned in the first call that it could be up to 2 hours before anyone called back, I thought that was amazing.

So, the doctor looked at me and decided it is either gastritis or gall stones. More likely gastritis. He's given me antibiotics and told me to see my usual doctor in the week if it flares up again.

It's eased off now to more of a discomfort than an intense pain, I'm very thankful for that. The only pain I've ever had that was worse than that was child birth!

Now for something I totally blame FlyLady for. I was showered and dressed to the shoes before the doctor got here, I'd also done my full morning routine. I know I could have just curled up and waited, but doing a few things gave my mind something else to focus on.

I'm sure I'll be fine now, though there was a scary few minutes when they wanted to send an ambulance! Thankfully it didn't come to that.

I am very thankful for the quick care I got today. It was far more than I thought I would get. The doctor was great and the whole thing went so smoothly. Many people complain about the emergency doctor service, but I have nothing but praise for them!

Now I'm going to try to relax then get an early night tonight.

What a strange sort of day

2008-10-03T05:38:00.000-07:00

It's been an interesting and fairly productive day so far.

I got Sophie to school early and I was home again before 9. I got all my housework done before 11 and I've done all my real work for the day. It's not even 2 year and I'm all done. It's a great feeling.

Earlier I got an email from my high school English teacher. I haven't seen or spoken to him since I left school. It was interesting. I can't say I've thought much about the people I left behind when I left school (and then the country), but it was a nice surprise to hear from one of them. I know there were a lot of unanswered questions when I left, and part of me feels bad for having never explained it to anyone, but it was too painful at the time and now it doesn't seem relevant. I suppose if anyone asks then I'll tell them, but I'm not going to make a point of it.

So yeah, interesting and productive, a good day so far :)

On the matter of everyone's health, Sophie hasn't come out in anything so I'm feeling fairly confident that she wont. Simon says his eyes don't feel right, but they haven't gotten any worse. We're seeing the specialist on Monday so we'll mention it to him and see what he has to say.

An Illness Update

2008-10-01T04:51:00.000-07:00

So far, thankfully, Sophie hasn't come down with slapped cheek (I love the name of it, for some reason it makes me smile), but it can take up to 20 days from exposure. Considering she plays with the kids she may have got it from every day, I don't know when she would have actually been exposed.

Simon is also doing alright today. He says he's eyes don't feel "right" but they haven't gotten any worse. That's good enough for me at the moment.

A bit of background on him and why I get so worked up when there's anything wrong with his eyes. Simon is albino and along with the most commonly known "symptom" (lack of pigment) it has also severely effected his eyes/sight. I reckon that's why he thinks I'm good lookin . . . he can't see me! (only joking, I know I'm as cute as a button). Okay, back to the serious. I worry that any infections or anything that involve his eyes could have a detrimental effect on his vision. Even though he is legally blind he's able to do most things for himself, there are very few things that I have to do for him. I don't want him to lose that and if his eyes get any worse, he might.

Anyway, that's why I get so stressed out when there's anything to do with his eyes. So be warned, y'all may hear more about this in the future!

PS: Thank you to Queen Bean for your supportive comments :)

Tuesday: Terrific or Terrible?

2008-09-30T02:47:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not gonna grump today! No whining, right?

It's been a pretty okay kind of day, but it's not even noon yet.

I've gotten a fair bit done, I've visited the FLYforum and even posted.

I do have a couple of concerns, but I wont let them bother me too much.

1) Sophie (DD) has been exposed to slapped cheek/fifths disease. From what I've read it spreads easily, so I wouldn't be surprised if she comes down with it. I'm not too worried about her, she'll feel sicky but it'll be over soon enough. I had it as a child and don't remember it being too bad. Simon (DH) on the other hand never had it (once you've had it you're not likely to get it again), so there is a slim chance he could come down with it. His immune system isn't at it's best at the moment, so it is a worry for me and also leads into . . .

2) I think Simon has another eye infection coming. He had one earlier in the year and had to work from home for two weeks. I don't mind him having to stay home, but I do worry about any damage another infection might cause. He has problems with his eyes at the best of times, so anything that effects them makes me worry.

I think those are the only two things bothering me at the moment. My cold is on its way out, I'm feeling a little more chipper and even though it's raining I'm not grumping! :)

A New Day

2008-09-28T23:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, my last couple of posts have been depressed/depressing, but I think I might be a bit better today.

It's just gone 7am Monday morning and I'm dressed to the shoes, I've done an hour of work and my full morning routine. I can hear DD in bed singing to herself, and it's a beautiful sound.

Yes, I'm tired and I'd love to go back to bed, but that's not going to happen. I have to work today and I also need to spruce up the house after having a few days of "I don't care".

It's a new day, and so far it's a good one.

What's gotten into me?!

2008-09-26T09:17:00.000-07:00

Over the last couple of days I've been in such a miserable mood. Everything is upsetting me. I've broken down over the stupidest things!

Example:
I had a card through the door yesterday saying that the post office has a package for me but they couldn't deliver it because there's a charge to pay (The package is from the US and I need to pay a customs charge). So I went online and paid it and it said that the package will now be delivered. Well, I sat in this morning waiting for the mail, fingers and toes crossed that the package would come. It didn't, and I actually found myself in tears. How stupid is that? Logically I know that because I paid on the main mail site it will probably take a day or two for our sorting office to know that I've paid and they can't deliver it until then. Maybe it's because I've been waiting for it for more than a month now and I finally saw hope that it might come. Whatever the reason, I actually cried over not getting mail.

Everything seems like too much at the moment. My first thought is depression, and it may well be, but it has come on so quickly. Last week I was fine, this week I want to crawl back into bed and stay there for a month or two. I've even avoided posting on the Fly forum.

Since I started going there I've loved it, but I've avoided posting for two days now. I'm not even posting my PODA, and I do that every day. I have figured out why I'm avoiding it though, I don't want to talk to anyone. I've lurked and read many posts. I've cried for those in pain, smiled and laughed with those who have found joy, but I can't bring myself to be involved right now. Maybe I just need a break, maybe I'm starting to break down, I just don't know.

It's spread out of cyber space now. I haven't answered the phone for days, I haven't replied to emails, I don't think I've said more than 10 words to my husband all day. Thankfully I've been able to keep everything fairly normal with my daughter. She's so young I don't think she'd notice anyway, but I've been pushing myself to make sure I do everything that we usually do even though I really don't want to.

Today should have been a really really good day, I didn't have to work and it's payday (seriously, who doesn't love payday?!), but still I've sat for hours staring off into space. If this keeps up I'll have to get myself to the doctor.

Tomorrow is another day, I'll get up and dress to the shoes and do what needs to be done.

Feelin' some love

2008-09-25T01:31:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by Queen Bean.

First I must answer the questions below with ONE word answers, then I get to pick seven other bloggers to pass it on to - see instructions, below.

1. Where is your cell phone? charging

2. Where is your significant other? work

3. Your hair color? blonde

4. Your mother? sleeping

5. Your father? working

6. Your favorite thing? cuddles

7. Your dream last night? frightening

8. Your dream/goal? happiness

9. The room you're in? living

10. Your hobby? thrilling

11. Your fear? failure

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? here

13. Where were you last night? home

14. What you're not? tired

15. One of your wish-list items? vacation

16. Where you grew up? beautiful

17. The last thing you did? sneeze

18. What are you wearing? clothes

19. Your TV? off

20 Your pet? insane

21. Your computer? slooooooooow

22. Your mood? stressed

23. Missing someone? loads

24. Your car? none

25. Something you're not wearing? jacket

26. Favorite store? Waterstones

27. Your summer? nonexistent

28. Love someone? completely

29. Your favorite color? purple

30. When is the last time you laughed? today

31. Last time you cried? today

Now, for you recipients of this award, here's the deal:
* Display your award.
* Link back to the person who gave you the award.
* Nominate at least 7 other blogs. (I know that's a lot so just do what you can do)
* Put links to those blogs on yours.
* Leave a message on the blogs of the people you've nominated.
* Enjoy your award!

I don't actually know 7 people on here, I'm sorry

Spread too thin and ready to snap

2008-09-25T01:10:00.000-07:00

Lately I feel like I've been stretching myself beyond what is healthy. I just can't seem to say 'no'. The guilt of doing so would just be too much. But there isn't all that much of me left to give, emotionally mentally or physically. I'm tired in body and in soul. I want to do all I can to ease the burdens of others, but that in itself is becoming a burden. I just want to close my eyes and lock out the world, but knowing that in doing so I would cause those who depend on me to suffer, I cannot. So I shall open my eyes, my door and my heart and give all I can until there's nothing left.

Work Frustration (feel free to ignore this, I just have to get it off my chest)

2008-09-23T02:17:00.000-07:00

Right, so I started my job back in May (has it really been that long already?!) and I love love love it.

A quick run down of what I do: I find events going on in our local area (and further into London) and add them to our local newspapers web site. It's not overly hard, a trained monkey could do it, but I love it. It allows me to work from home, and finally feel like I'm doing something positive with my time (I was unemployed for 7 years prior to starting this job). The extra money is very nice too!

Now for my frustration.

When I first started the site had 299 events listed and it was right at the bottom of the table (list of all the papers in the same company), I think there were only one or two who had less. As of five minutes ago I had 1856 events listed.

Now, when I look at that I think "That's all? 5 months and that's all I've gotten on?!" but then I remind myself that events fall off the list all the time (as it happens, it comes off the list). So it's always three steps forward and two steps back. Say I get 200 events listed in a week, over the weekend I can lose up to 150. That's very frustrating, but it's the nature of the job.

My biggest frustration though is that even though I've really bumped up the numbers there's still one site that has more. I'm currently 342 events behind them. I WANT THE TOP SPOT! Even if it's just for a day, I want it. I've been busting my butt for weeks but they always seem one step ahead of me. I found out today why that is.

They cheat!

I guess they're pulling in events from other areas to use on their site (including some of mine). So, events that I spent hours tracking down and uploading, they're just taking. I know it's not a big deal, and that I could do it too if I wanted to, but it's the principle of the thing. Do your own dang work, don't take mine.

I will not let that stop me from getting to my goal (getting the top spot), I'll just have to work harder and faster. Heck, I'll even work off the clock if I have to. I want it, I will have it (spoilt brat coming out there!).

Okay, venting done, we will not return you to your normal programing :)

There's a first time for everything!

2008-09-21T12:18:00.000-07:00

Well, I had a very exciting (to me) first today.

This evening was the first time I've ever had friends over for dinner and not spent the week before in a blind panic. It was amazing, and a little scary to be honest.

In the middle of last week I must have gone slightly insane and I invited a friend to come around for dinner tonight along with her husband and their two young boys. After the initial panic of "What the heck are you doing?!!" a strange calm came over me.

On Friday I asked the boys what they would like for dinner (Pizza) and planned out what the grown ups would be having (Ginger and Pork Noodles), and didn't think a lot more about it. This morning dawned and I assumed my usual "Right, it's time to get this place whipped into shape", but there wasn't really any whipping to do.

By 1.30pm the house was clean, pudding was made, everything was ready to start cooking dinner and I was lost. What the heck was I supposed to do now? Part of me felt like I should be screaming at my husband and daughter to help do this that or the other, that I should be barking orders, but there were no orders to give. It was all done and ready and I still had a whole two and a half hours before they were coming.

Fast forward a couple of hours and my guests arrived. Drinks were offered and accepted. The kids were put to work painting pictures and the adults sat chatting. Dinner practically cooked itself as I had everything ready, and I was the picture of relaxed calm.

Yes, there were a few ooppsies (paint and ketchup on the carpet), but it didn't bother me at all. The kids were having a great time and mess was always going to happen, they're kids after all.

It was a wonderful evening. We laughed, told stories, got to know everyone better and the kids had a blast.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would willingly have people come into my home, I never thought I would be doing the inviting, and never ever did I think it would be possible to enjoy it.

I'm shattered, but that's from laughing not from stressing. It was a fantastic evening and I can't wait to do it again.

(PS- Does anyone know how to get green paint and ketchup out of cream carpet? LOL)

The Simple Pleasures In Life

2008-09-16T23:11:00.000-07:00

It's the simple pleasures in life that make it all worth it. Like hearing my daughter tell one of her friends "My mommy can do anything!". What makes her think I'm such a wonderwoman? I fixed the toilet. Okay, yes, I'm proud of myself too but it's not a big deal. It needed fixin' and it got fixed (Do It Now :) ).

A year ago I would have left it broken. I would have spent days or weeks thinking "I don't know how to fix that so I wont bother trying". Stinkin' Thinkin' anyone?

There are so many little things everyday that lead to a very happy me.

Knowing that I can tell my daughter to get dressed and she'll be able to do it because her uniform is clean and hanging up waiting for her.

Being able to make dinner because I thought ahead and got everything I needed.

Sending my husband off to work in a nicely ironed shirt because I made the time last week to iron enough work shirts for the next two weeks.

Being able to open my door to a friend in need without the panic of "they're going to see my mess". There is no mess.

Walking around the house looking for some job to do and finding nothing that needs to be done.

Being able to relax and do something I want to without guilt because I've done everything I need to.

All very simple things that so many people take for granted, but they mean the world to me.